You will be the victim in any relationship for only as long
as you continue to agree to play the role of victim in that alliance
--Darel RutherfordSmile and then make a new agreement
One of life’s greatest revelations is the realization that you have, unconsciously made an agreement with each and every person in your reality—an agreement about who you will be for them and they for you.
Once you begin to see your relationships as unwritten agreements, you will have found the power to transform the quality of your life forever. From that moment on, when a relationship rubs you the wrong way, you’ll simply smile and propose a change in the agreement!
When you’re tired of being jerked around by your dog, a gentle pull on the leash, from time to time, will let your dog know that you are taking control. When it gets the message, you will have made a new agreement with your dog.
The solution to your relationship with your boss or a friend might be handled just as easily. You may want to begin by asking yourself who you would be BEING if he or she no longer felt free to treat you in that manner. Then, having made your new BEING decision, you would be empowered to make a new agreement with that person about how you will be treated in the future.
He or she may not agree, but so what? Without the new agreement, the relationship doesn’t work for you anyway. You have made a new BEING choice, and the new you no longer fits the old mold.
You chose the role
Don’t resent your boss for being the jerk (if he is). Your boss is doing you the favor of allowing you to experience life from the role of being the victim in that relationship.
The value gained from such an experience comes when you finally realize that you chose the victim role because you needed the experience. Accepting this truth gives you the power to make a new BEING choice, and your newfound power makes your victory even sweeter.
To learn how to uncover the unwritten agreement and then to make a new agreement, you'll wan to read chapter 18 pf BEING THE SOLUTION.
